Attack of the Blondes
by momogo7
Summary: Ino and Naruto expand their friendship. Sounds dangerous. DISCLAIMER: I DON'T OWN NARUTO.


_I posted this a while ago, and took it down soon afterwards since I never got around to finishing it. Better late than never I suppose._

_Enjoy and thank you for reading. _

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The sunshine seeped through the blinds of the eighteen-year-old girl's bedroom window. Its warmth kissed her face, giving her a heavenly glow. A soft smile graced her lips as her eyes slowly opened to welcome the new day.

If only she was as peaceful awake as she was asleep.

With a rush of sudden excitement, Ino threw off the covers and scrambled across her room to throw open the window. Drawing in a deep breath, she enjoyed the wonderful weather that had come along with the summer season.

Turning from the view, she ran back across the room, snatched her mobile up from her nightstand and belly-flopped onto her comfy bed. Scrolling down her contact list she finally came across the one she was looking for and pressed the dial button.

_Ring, ring._

"Come on Sakura…"

_Ring, ring._

"…answer…"

_Ring, ring._

"…it's the first day of vacation."

_Ring, ring._

"FOREHEAD! PICK UP THE PH-"

"_Hey_,"

"It's about time you-"

"_I can't come to the phone right now, so leave your name and digits at the tone! Ja ne_!"

"Ugh!!" the blonde screamed as she tossed the offensive piece of plastic across the room.

"Stupid forehead! She's probably too busy being with Sasuke. Fiddlesticks! I guess I'll just have to find someone else to hang out with all day…but whom? Who could possibly not be doing anything important today?" Ino sighed, blowing her bangs out of her eyes as she dragged herself off of her bed. She trudged over to the window and was staring forlornly out at the street below when a sudden flash of orange and black ran by.

This was going to be fun.

* * *

It was a peaceful spring day; the sun was out, the birds were chirping and the landscape was covered in beautiful flowers. In homage to such a great day, Naruto decided to treat himself to multiple bowls of ramen. He slurped up the noodles with his eyes closed to enjoy the flavor better. And it was right then, mid-slurp, when…

_SLAM!_ "NAAAARUTOOOOOOO!"

Naruto jumped a good three feet up into the air before choking on his lovely ramen.

"I've been looking for you _everywhere_! I should have known…"

Naruto desperately grasped his throat, willing himself to cough up the noodles.

"…you'd be here shoveling ramen down your throat as usual…"

He doubled over and slammed his body against the counter in an attempt to perform some crude version of the Heimlich maneuver to dislodge the noodles.

"…I swear you and Chouji alone could eat an entire year's supply of ramen in a day! Tch, so anyway, Naruto… Naruto? Are you listening?"

By now the poor guy was blue in the face and flailing around in his seat.

"Stop joking around and listen to me!" Ino exclaimed slapping him hard in the back causing Naruto to spit up the offending noodles.

_Gasp, Wheeze, Cough, Wheeze, Pant._

"Right, so as I was saying, you do realize that since Sakura and Sasuke are now officially dating we'll be seeing each other more often, and since we'll be seeing each more often, I thought it would be a good idea to become friends! Sound good to you?"

"_Pant, Wheeze._ Sure. _Cough._" Naruto chocked out. Ino smiled brightly.

"Great! Let's go!" she exclaimed and proceeded to drag Naruto from the restaurant.

"WAIT! MY RAMEN!" he cried as the bowl became smaller and smaller in the distance.

* * *

They'd been at it all morning, running around town trying to find a suitable activity that they both could partake in. Well, Ino had been running and looking anyways, Naruto was more than less just being dragged along in her wake.

Frustrated, Ino let out a low growl as she simultaneously tightened her grip on her comrade's sleeve and increased her pace. Naruto was proving difficult to hang out with; she couldn't go shopping with him like she did with Sakura, nor did she think it was a safe idea to drag him to the hot springs (Kami knows what perverted thoughts he's picked up from being around Jiraiya and Kakashi_)_ and there's simply no way her skinny wallet could take his enormous stomach out to lunch.

As the feeling of defeat spread through out her body she allowed herself to collapse on a nearby park bench, flinging her unfortunate comrade onto the ground before her.

"Ugh! There's nothing to do in this Kami-forsaken village!"

"What the hell are ya talking about?! This village is the best in the entire world! This village has been the home of many amazing ninjas who have sacrificed their lives for our way of life! For our freedom! Looking at our past and present hokages' faces, it encourages to strive forward to pursue happiness, love-"

"Love? What a great idea Naruto! Let's be matchmakers!"

"That's not exactly what I meant…"

"It's a perfect idea! So many people obviously need my, I mine our help…"

"Who?"

"…but a change of wardrobe is a must! OH! And I have just the thing to wear! Come on Naruto, stop slackin' and pick up the pace! This is so exciting!"

* * *

"Ino why do I have to wear this?! And why is it so short?" Naruto emerged from Ino's bathroom in a crude rendition of what was supposed to be a toga. Ino turned from her vanity, successfully securing a gold earring into her right ear, and eyed her handiwork.

"What are you complaining about? You look fine. In fact, I'm sure Hinata would faint from joy at a mere glance of you." Facing the mirror once more to slip in her other earring, she smirked at her friend's reflection. Like Naruto, she was dressed in a toga finished off with a pair of gladiator sandals and a gold rope rapped around her waist. Smoothing her hair and dress, she once again turned to face him.

"Ready?"

"...Let's do this!"

"See?! I knew you were secretly thrilled as much as me!"

"Yeah, but if we're going to go all out Roman God status, we're still missing one key element."

"One step ahead of you. Come on, I know just where we can get them."

"Is it going to be dangerous?"

"Yes, and quite possibly painful."

"Great, lead the way!"

* * *

"Did you see anything?"

"No, we're good, she isn't home."

"Alright, then let's go. Ladies first." Like a proper gentleman, Naruto haphazardly grabbed and tossed the petite blonde over the wall and into the backyard of the targeted house. Landing gracelessly on her romp, Ino glared as Naruto neatly settled on his feet to her left.

"_Thanks_ _a lot_, Naruto."

"No need to thank me, I'm happy to assist at anytime."

_Rustle, snap, rustle._

"Hey Ino, I can see your underwear."

"STUPID TOGA!"

"SHH! Don't get your panties in a twist."

"Ugh, let's just grab 'em and get out of here already."

"Okay, sorry. So do you know where Tenten keeps 'em?"

"Hmm, probably next to her picture of Neji."

"HAHAHA!"

* * *

Deep in the forest, at Team Gai's training ground…

_ACHOO!!_

"Tenten, Neji, my youthful students, are you ill?"

"Sensei! It is a synchronized sneeze of love!"

"What a youthful thought! Lee!"

"Gai-sensei!"

"LEE!"

"GAI-SENSEI!"

* * *

"You think Tenten is going to kill us for stealing her bow and arrows?"

"We're not stealing them, just borrowing. But yes, she'll probably deal us a slow and painful death for taking them without permission."

"Figures. You know, as a final precaution, we should probably wear masks."

"Splendid idea Naruto! Though it doesn't really go with the Roman God theme we got going on. Red ribbon okay?"

"Red ribbon it is."

"And capes? It will get a bit chilly later on tonight you know."

"I couldn't agree more."

* * *

Two mysterious figure with shining golden hair dyed pink by the setting sun, bold maroon capes flapping in the wind, and delicate red masks perch on a rooftop observing the crowds below.

"Look at them, they're completely unsuspecting."

"Hmm-yes, entirely unaware."

"Hahaha, and they'll have no idea who we are, _Cupid_."

"Right you are, _Venus_."

"Naruto? Ino? What are you two doing up there? And what are you wearing?"

"ABORT! THE MISSION HAS BEEN COMPROMISED!"

"ARE THOSE MY BOW AND ARROWS!"

"CRAP! RUN FOR YOUR LIFE!"

"EVERY MAN, ERR WOMAN, FOR THEMSELVES!"

"GET BACK HERE YOU COWARDS!!"

_Crash, boom, screech._

"GAHHH!"

* * *

Gingerly our heroine lowers herself into the uncomfortable hell commonly known as a hospital bed. Clutching a package of ice desperately to her eye with one hand, and tenderly rubbing her side with the other, she looks over at her partner in crime. With only a black eye, bruised side and broken toe, she has undoubtedly come out the most unscathed. The man beside her was currently sporting a black eye as well along with a broken ulna, bruised tailbone, and a large gash frighteningly close to a highly valuable appendage.

"You know, Naruto, I think we learned a valuable lesson today."

"Don't cross Tenten? Don't waste so much time on unimportant details?"

"No, that two unsupervised blondes together is a disaster waiting to happen."

"...So, we'll opt for something boring next time?"

"Yeah, the more boring, the less possibility of things going wrong."

"Sounds like a plan."

* * *

_Boring not dangerous? Au contraire. _


End file.
